I am lying on a large wooden table. Attached to the underside of the table is a series of strings – like piano or harp strings. I am covered in a blanket with a cloth across my eyes to block out the light. A young (rather fit looking!) therapist called Christian is sitting next to me gently plucking the strings below.
A haunting musical sound begins to build, gently resonating through my body. It sounds like three didgeridoos playing harmonies. It’s certainly a pleasant experience but I am skeptical about its therapeutic benefits. Its called a “sound bed“ and it’s part of the spa facilities at The Wiesenhof hotel in the picture postcard village of Pertisau in Tirol in Austria.
The treatment is based on the understanding that the world around us oscillates or vibrates. Humans mostly perceive these vibrations as music or noises. Physics has shown us that these vibrations, if at the correct pitch can activate other bodies. Think of a tuning fork; if you strike the fork and hold it against something else with a similar resonant frequency, it will set that body vibrating too.
This is the principle of Tibetan resonance therapy which uses bells. Johannes Entner at The Wiesenhof wanted to create a treatment that would help calm the mind and body in the same way as the Tibetan bells, but using Alpine traditions.
Since stringed instruments are typical for the Alpine region Johannes chose them as the basis for his idea. He worked in collaboration with Wolfgang Lohmeier, a Munich-based sound engineer and percussionist, and togther they developed a unique bed with 15 strings tuned to the sound of the Earth.
During the treatment you lie on the wooden “resonator box“ with the 15 piano strings underneath. Your therapist then slides his/her fingers across the strings, which are tuned to C sharp. This single fundamental tone generates various overtones providing the bed with a warm, voluminous tone.
At first its just pleasant and I am not sure its really having any therapeutic effect, but gradually as the tones begin to work their magic, I can feel my body and my mind begin to relax. Deeper and deeper.
I not only hear the harmonic frequencies through my ears but I also feel them through my skin.
The idea is that as well as relaxing you, the treatment also helps to improve circulation and balances the autonomic nervous system.
I can certainly say it relaxed me – more than I have experienced for a long time. And as it came to an end I suddenly realised that for some time (I have no idea for how long!) I had actually stopped thinking – that inner voice had shut up! I was left with a strong sense of being grounded and calm, which lasted the rest of the day, and that night I slept well and woke up feeling refreshed.
What a shame all kitchen tables arent hooked up with piano strings – giving a dinner party could be alot less stressful!
Do you need protection? Are you strong enough to protect yourself? Or do you need someone to protect you? We tend to think of protection on a physical level and the idea that if you are physically strong enough you will be able to protect your self. And if you are not then there are three options a) go to the gym build your muscles b) get someone to protect you or c) stay in! Discos employ bouncers, armies train soldiers and the rich and famous hire bodyguards. But the vast majority of us will never need to worry about being hurt by others as our average day carries very little physical threat. However if we move to the mental/emotional level there appears to be a different kind of possibility that we may get ‘hurt’. Indeed it seems that some of us believe we are being mentally or emotionally ‘hurt’ almost every day. Our symptoms of hurt are the behaviours that emerge as a result e.g. blaming, complaining and accusing others for ‘making me feel this way’. Is that because, like physical hurt, we are not strong enough or not powerful enough to protect ourselves, or is it because we feel we are at the mercy of other people and circumstances regardless of how powerful we are? Does it mean we need some kind of mental/emotional protection or do we need to manage our hurt feelings a little more discretely? Do we need some kind of ‘bouncer system’ standing guard at the widows of our minds and at the doors of our heart? In order to clearly see what kind of protection we may need, it’s useful to consider exactly how ‘hurt’ happens. These are the seven main reasons why we might feel that we are ‘hurting’ mentally or emotionally. Insulted “How dare you say that to me!” Whether someone calls us names or makes derogatory remarks about our personality, it seems many of us can easily feel personally insulted. Offended. “Can you believe what they just said about ‘my’ religion” Similar to a personal insult being offended means we are disapproving of someone’s behavior or words. In our ‘judgment’ of the other we see them as doing or saying something against our beliefs or values. It could be a slander towards our race or religion. Some have come to habitually feel so easily affronted they consciously seek for reasons to be offended.
Let Down “I am so disappointed in you because you’ve let me down” A sense of hurt is the form of disappointment that follows quickly from the perception that someone has let us down. Whether they turned up late or just didn’t meet a commitment, we take it personally and once our sadness and anger (hurt) have faded, we put a black mark against that persons name in filing cabinet called memory. Betrayed “How could you tell them what I said, how can I ever trust you again” When we take others into our ‘confidence’ we do so with the expectation that they will keep that confidence confidential! We do not expect them to pass it on to any old ‘other’! And when they do we feel the hurt of betrayal. Robbed “They took everything from me” Perhaps one of the deepest hurts is when we have something we deem precious taken from us. Sometimes we feel it’s not just thieves, but we perceive some businesses are out to take as much from as many of us as they can for their product or service, and we then call it daylight robbery! Broken Promise “But you promised me…”! We all know the moment of personal hurt when someone breaks a promise, whether it’s a parent who fails to buy that bike at Christmas, the boss who fails to deliver a promised promotion or the friend who fails to return a precious item on time. Excluded “You didn’t invite me…” It’s that moment when you realise that you are not included in what you desired to be a part of. Any hurt feelings are often followed by, “What’s wrong with me?” Life seems to throw up so many good reasons to feel hurt which means to feel powerless in the face of other’s behaviours and prevailing circumstances. In some areas this can happen so frequently to so many people that eventually the government has to create a ‘protection agency’ to ensure ‘the people’ are not exploited by others. So how do we build our mental and emotional strength, how do we empower our self so that we don’t experience these feelings of hurt? How can we build the inner power to protect our self from our own mental and emotional suffering? Perhaps ‘protection’ is not the right word! Perhaps the real question is how do we not create, or break the habit of creating, our own suffering, our own hurt, in the first place? Here are some suggestions in the form of the basic principles of ‘self emPOWERment’ which can both eliminate all hurt and eventually give you the strength not to create it. 1 Accept Responsibility Sometimes it’s hard to see, never mind accept, that we are each responsible for our thoughts and feelings at all times and in all situations. Our first responsibility in life is our ‘ability to respond’. This means any ‘hurt’ feelings are entirely our own creation and it’s never the other person or the situation. Easy theory but hard to put into practice in the ‘heat of the moment’, especially after a lifetime of believing ‘it’s them’. But if we can apply the principle of self responsibility, even after the situation has receded, we will begin to look for the cause of our hurt within our self as opposed to continue projecting our emotions on to others. And when we look we will almost certainly find that we feel hurt because the world is not dancing to our tune.
2 End Controlling It’s just not possible to control anyone else’s words or behaviours…ever! And most of our hurt comes because others are not saying or doing what we want, or they are saying/doing what we don’t want. Our emotional reaction is a sign that we are trying to control what we cannot control. Our ‘hurt’ is a sign that we are unhappy, and believe they are ‘making’ us unhappy. But ‘reality’ reminds us that the world is not designed to dance to ‘my tune’ and neither is the world, which includes other people, responsible for our happiness. 3 Be Happy Anyway Being responsible for our own happiness is also a challenge in a world that sends us hundreds of messages every day to say you cannot be happy until you have this, go there, consume that and acquire these etc. But as long as we make our happiness dependent on anything or anyone outside our self our emotions will fluctuate wildly and we will be unable to be at peace with our self, unable to give the gift of our peace to others, unable to extend the light of our love consistently to others. We will be unable to stop hurting our self emotionally or mentally. Realising that our happiness is an ‘inside job’ frees us from our dependencies and then there is nothing anyone can do that would ‘let us down’. 4 Letting Go If you explore the root of any hurt and all your unhappiness you will always find some form of attachment. Holding on to things, ideas and images of how others ‘should’ speak and act, is the real cause of our hurt feelings. Letting go or being detached does not mean we don’t care or that we are ‘avoiding’, it simply means we are free, our energy, our power is not trapped or blocked by old attachments, and we are able use our energy to respond positively to whatever happens.
5 Self Awareness The one place we tend not to look and learn is the inner space of our self. Cultivating self awareness allows us to see how and why we are ‘feeling’ hurt. It reminds us we are always responsible for our feelings and that we have the inner power to choose our feelings regardless of what others say or do. We may even see that we too have the ‘occasional inclination’ to insult, offend, exclude, let others down. And as we do we also realise that in the reality of real life these are things some people intend to do. And we can do absolutely nothing about others intentions and what they eventually do. All we can do is not be ‘affected’ by what they do. Some people do try to protect themselves from such behaviours but only by avoiding them. Much better to empower our self so that we don’t ‘hurt’ our own feelings, our self, when we see and hear ‘them’ attempting to insult, offend, exclude, rob etc. You know when you are self-empowered, you know when you are standing in our power when: No one can hurt you by insulting you, as you now see you are not whatever ‘name/s’ they may call you. It is just words (sticks and stones…) You can no longer be ‘offended’ because you are no longer ‘attached’ to a particular belief or belief system about how others ‘should’ speak, act, wear their clothes and live their lives. You are can never be hurt by some one who lets you down because you have learned not to make your happiness dependent on having your expectations met by others. You can never be hurt by betrayal because you are no longer dependent on what others think about you for your self worth and self esteem and you know that you cannot control what others will do with what you share. You cannot be robbed of anything of real value because in truth you know you possess nothing (you can’t take it with when you go) and everything comes and goes, and you have no control over the manner in which it may leave! And you now know your primary values are intangible and internal not those tangible and external things you are taught to acquire. You can no longer be hurt by a broken promise because you know and accept that that is what people sometimes do, they break their promises, and your happiness is no longer dependent on others keeping their promises.
You are no longer devastated when you appear to be excluded. You do not take it personally. Your self-esteem and self-worth are no longer dependent on the approval of others. You no longer need to be involved in anything to be content within your self. You know there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You are a free spirit, and if the invitations come that’s OK, but if they don’t come that’s also OK. In truth you cannot be protected against ‘hurt’ at a mental/emotional level because you create the hurt feelings yourself. But if you are still ‘hurting’ then it’s a signal to head for the mental/emotional gym and embark on some mental muscle building. And the first exercise is realising it’s ‘not them, it’s me’. Question: Which of the above seven reasons tends to be the ‘trigger’ (not cause) of your hurt feelings. Reflection: How could you free your self from all hurt? Action: Take five minutes at the end of each day this week and note down all the moments you felt hurt by someone or something and see if you can see why it was you and not ‘them’.
Mike George is a relaxation expert and author of “The 7 Ahas of highly enlightened souls”. For more information visit: Awareness Retreats and Relax7.
Sometimes we don't want to admit to feeling overwhelmed, we feel we should be able to cope with everything life throws at us and that we'd be admitting to a weakness, or our career may be under threat, if we say we’re stressed.
For many people though, it’s just that the difference between stress and pressure is not clear. That means they're not aware of the effects undue stress can have on their physical, mental & spiritual wellbeing and what can be done to make things better.
Which is why everyone needs to understand stress and its implications.
The good news is that there are many proven techniques, which can help…
• reduce undue stress
• improve quality of sleep
• reduce anxiety, panic & phobias
• reduce blood pressure
• calm nerves
• restore mental and physical health
• improve relationships & communication
• restore a positive mental attitude
• restore self-confidence
• improve performance & enjoyment of life
• help people understand more about themselves and what they want out of life so they make the right choices for them
• give people the tools to go for it!
Big claims I know, but in the words of one client; "This stuff works, doesn't it?" Yes it does and it transforms the lives of those people who work with stress management techniques.
There is a lot of debate in the wellbeing industry about the definition of stress and nobody seems to be able to settle on one definitive description. Why? Because:
• stress is a very individual thing and can mean different things to different people at different times in there lives
• although we think that situations and people cause us stress, it is not the situation or person that stresses us, but our own reaction to it. That puts us in a lot more control as to how we deal with it and
• there is a huge difference between short term pressure after which we return to normal mental and physical good health and long term, unabated pressure which causes undue stress and can lead to serious illness
When we perceive that we are under excessive pressure for one reason or another, there is a reaction in the body called 'fight or flight' which affects just about every system in the body. This is great in the short term as it allows us to either escape danger or face it and survive. But herein lies the rub.
It’s called The Stress Paradox.
After periods of excessive pressure like this over a short time, our body and minds are designed to take a break and give themselves a chance to restore equilibrium and for the body's functions to return to a more relaxed state.
The issue is that our current 24/7 culture teaches us to be on the go 24/7 and often even our 'relaxation' time is filled all the time with things which excite us. Our exercise regimes, where we go on holiday, how we spend our time – all are packed with stuff that takes us to 'the edge' and fills every waking moment.
In short, we've become adrenaline junkies!
When we constantly find ourselves in an over-stimulated state, it becomes a habit and we can't return to relaxation even if we want to. This means we leave ourselves exposed to becoming:
• hypervigilant causing anxiety, fears & phobias
• over-emotional and irrational in our thinking
• unable to relax and take time out
• physically unwell because our immune system is affected
• unable to make clear decisions
• lacking in energy and constantly tired
• unable to enjoy where we are right now and constantly unsatisfied with what we have and where we are
• unhappy with who we are and/or with those around us
• unhappy because we feel victimised and unlucky and often blame others for our situation
• unhappy with life
Over a period of time, this can manifest itself in numerous ways and often with physical, mental and perhaps most importantly spiritual (in its broadest sense!) illness. At best it makes us extremely uncomfortable and unhappy. At worst, it's potentially fatal.
Thinking you can battle through it couldn't be further from the truth and is just another symptom. Undue stress does NOT go away if untreated. It gets worse until the symptoms are such that you HAVE to do something about it.
So What Can You Do About It?
What is essential to understand is that, unless you're willing to change some of the things you do, no amount of workshops, seminars, counselling or coaching will make any difference.
People who are experiencing undue stress are not 'bonkers' and they are not 'weak'. Without exception, they are all extremely capable people. They're just overloaded or facing a particular challenge. They've either reached a crisis or challenge in their lives or need some practical coaching. They're looking for a non-judgmental, practical and objective approach to life and they're open to exploring new ways of thinking and behaving.
They may for example be dealing with:
• Relationship issues at home or at work
• Ill-health or sick relatives
• Feelings of being victimised
• Lack of self-esteem
• Feelings that, 'there must be more to life than this!'
• Conflict
• Communication issues
• Phobias, anxiety and fear
• Negative, self-critical and unhappy behaviour
• Major life and career decisions
• Exam nerves
Or any situation which makes them feel out of control and overwhelmed. The great thing is that there is plenty on offer to reverse that trend. 10 THINGS TO DO IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE UNDULY STRESSED
1. Review what’s going on in your life and try to identify the triggers and symptoms. There is a Free Stress Questionnaire on www.breathingspacetherapies.com/
2. Learn how to use breathing & relaxation techniques to calm your nervous system down.
3. Regular exercise is not only good for us physically, but also is a great stress-reliever. Make sure you build exercise into your daily routine. Walk to work instead of driving, take dancing lessons, take up a sport, walk up the escalators instead of standing on them etc. There are many ways you can build physical exercise into your routine without going anywhere near a gym!
4. Limit your intake of pre-prepared, take-away and processed foods. The more fresh, unprocessed foods you eat, the better your body is able to process them. Reduce your intake of fizzy drinks (including low calorie versions), white bread, white sugar, caffeinated drinks, eat more fresh fish, salads, fruits, vegetables, stir fries and so on and drink plenty of still water.
5. Take regular breaks of a few minutes every hour and take a break away from your work or house during the day for at least half an hour to give your body and mind to refresh themselves. It’s often in periods of rest that we come up with our best ideas and solutions and constant activity is inefficient and stressful.
6. If you are constantly trying to please others and find yourself in stressful situations, battling to keep up, put your own health and wellbeing first because then you are in a better position to take others into consideration.
7. Monitor your talk about yourself and others? Is your language negative or positive? Are you kind to yourself and others? Do you constantly see the downside in everything? Maintaining a balance between positive and negative thinking is essential to positive stress management and wellbeing. Proven techniques help you retrain your mind to a more balanced way of thinking.
8. Do you sleep well? 6 to 7 hours good sleep a night restores all the body and mind’s functions and even boosts your immune system. For a free download ‘An Easy Guide to a Blissful Night’s Sleep’ visit www.breathingspacetherapies.com and click on the icon at the bottom left hand corner of the screen for an instant download.
9. Do you have even a short time to yourself most days? If not, look at ways you can create space for yourself to read, relax, take part in a hobby, listen to music and so on and make ‘you’ time a priority.
10. If you think you need professional help, seek a specialist in Stress Management in your area who will introduce you to proven techniques to reverse unhelpful trends.
Annie Lawler is Managing Director of Breathing Space Therapies & Breathing Space for Business. For further information, contact Annie Lawler on 0772 581 8884, email on annie@breathingspacetherapies.com.
